The Republican Party nominates Tucker Carlson because why not?
After Joe Biden declines to run again and Kamala Harris blows it in the early debates, the Democratic Party nominates Meghan Markle, largely to avoid having to nominate Andrew Cuomo.
Despite having earlier announced that he would not be running, former President Donald Trump emerges from Florida and announces that he will be running as an independent to defend the honor of Queen Elizabeth.
On election night, a giant comet collides with Earth.
No one minds.