I Slept Through Most Of The Oscars

It wasn’t intentional.  I hadn’t gotten much sleep since Friday and, even before the ceremony started, my eyelids were getting heavy.  I dozed off immediately after Brad Pitt won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

The first time I woke up, Eminem was performing and I saw an unimpressed-looking teenager sitting in the audience with yellow-green hair.

“Who’s that?” I asked my girlfriend.

“Billie Eilish,” she replied, “She was like a few months old the last time Eminem was relevant.”

The sight of a three hundred middle-aged white people bobbing their heads to Eminem put me immediately back to sleep.  I did wake up in time to see the big four awards — director, actor, actress, and picture.

Parasite‘s a good film and Bong Joon-ho is one of the world’s great directors, so I don’t have any complaints about it winning.  Joker would have been a disaster if not for Joaquin Phoenix’s performance so, again, no complaints.  As for Renee Zellweger, I’ll just take everyone’s word that she’s great in Judy.

Author: Jedadiah Leland

Film watcher, music lover, pop culture junkie. And you want to be my latex salesman?

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